The Negotiator

Have you ever gone to Mexico and they tell you "5 Dolla" and you say.. "No, I'll give you 2 Dollars"?  Or have you ever sold anything on KSL or Craigslist, and you jack up the price because you know that some loser is going to low-ball you?  K..well that "loser", is Adam.  He can't pay full price for anything.  Which I am totally grateful for because he has saved us some significant amounts of cash over the years BUT that's not to say it isn't totally embarrassing, we are however in America.  I'm one of those that goes into a store, ignores the workers, because if I can't find something then they clearly just don't carry it.  I'm that "guy" that doesn't ask for directions cause I don't want anyone to know I'm lost. 
Let me preface this for you... we can afford to pay full price, but he just likes to see how low they will really go, it's a sport for him.. 
The Christmas Tree:
We planned on getting a Christmas tree last week and it didn't happen.  I've been swamped all week and last night Adam was out with some guys from the academy and I walk in my back door and what do I see?!  A christmas tree! {this is a big deal considering we had not ONE Christmas decoration up last year - but that is for a later post} I asked him where he got it and he said from some meth-addict at a tree lot.  Then he said, "yeah, I got 8 bucks off"  I replied, "Seriously, you negotiated on a tree?..with a meth addict?" He replied, "Yeah, I didn't mind paying for it, I just wanted to see how 'loooow she would goooo'.  She said I could have it for $60 plus tax, then she spent about 5 minutes on the calculator and said, 'ok, your total is $72'  - Um... $72 was the original price.  She called over some guy and he used that crazy calculator and came up with $64."  Sweet... $8, lunch money?
The Front Room Couch:
The infamous front room.. never gets used, but anyone that comes to your front door sees it.  So it should be obvious that I would need a pretty cute set-up.  I found a $1,100 couch at Gardner Village and told Adam about it.  I went up to school and he and Alex (his twin brother) went to Gardner Village to buy the couch.  It's a retail store, with price tags..but what does Adam do?  Negotiates.  He told the sales associate she had two options.. she could either get a sale for $900, or keep the couch with no sale. (Obviously he was as polite as you can be when low-balling someone).  She called her boss and said they could go ahead and do it.  Adam paid the lady $900 and Adam and Alex loaded up my couch!  I did hear from Alex that it was quite embarrassing.. he has now..felt my pain.
The Bedroom Set:
There are numerous stories I could tell, but this will be my last..for now.  This is however, the best one!  I read a book called I Love A Cop, and in this book it told me that I need a sanctuary for a bedroom, somewhere I feel safe, comfortable, and cozy - why?  because if my husband is going to be gone during the scary hours, I need a nice bedroom to feel safe because we all know if a Killer were to come in he would be distracted by the comforts of my room and leave me to live another day.  I did however use this to my advantage and told Adam the book says I need a new bedroom set, and he had no argument.  We took ourselves to Ashley Furniture and found the perfect bedroom set for a price tag of $2,500.  A sales lady came over and conversation went a little something like this: (I'm going to call her Ashley..)
Ashley: Hello, how are you guys today?
Adam: Good, tell me about this bedroom set.
Ashley: It's on sale for $2,499 for the headboard, footboard, runners, dresser, hutch, mirror, and two nightstands.
Adam: hmm..Okay.
Ashley: We are doing a sale this weekend, so I can negotiate with my boss to see if there is anything else he can do?
Adam: Yeah, why don't you do that.
- Ashley leaves... and I tell Adam, "Not today Adam...not today - that is already a good price"  Adam, "shhh, it's going to be okay."  Ashley returns.
Ashley: He says he can go down to $2,200.
Adam: We just came in here with a budget and we really don't want to exceed that.
Ashley:  And what was your budget?
Adam: $1,500
Ashley: I'll be right back.
- Ashley leaves.  "Really Adam?! $1,500?"  I was SO embarrassed I started pacing... He ignored me.  Ashley returns.
Ashley: He said he can go to $1,800.
Adam: Yeah, we just really want to stick to our budget so maybe we'll come back another time.
Ashley: I'll be right back.
Ashley leaves.  I said nothing.. Adam said, "This is Fun!" Ashley returns.
Ashley: He is really stretching it, but we can do $1,650.
Adam: Can you give us a minute?
- Ashley walks a few feet away to let us talk.  Adam, "Should I be done?"  I just stared at him... He said, "ok, I'll be done, $850 savings is good enough." I just stared at him... Ashley returns.
Ashley: What did we decide?
Adam: Yeah..we just really need to stick to our $1,500 budget, but thank you so much.
Ashley: I'll be right back.
- Ashley leaves.  "WTF ADAM!" "Babe, really I was going to say just kidding, but she responded too quick!" Ashley returns.
Ashley: Good news! He will go to $1,495!
Adam: SOLD!

Oh.  My.  Heck.
I love him... but this is one of those things I just cant be present for anymore! He is clearly a master negotiator, I just don't understand it.  So, we are hosting Negotiation Tactics courses at our house, feel free to sign up - but prices are steep and non-negotiable. :)